Home Opinion Idang Alibi: Adam Nuru – ‘’Banger of the Year’’

Idang Alibi: Adam Nuru – ‘’Banger of the Year’’


By Idang Alibi

The Bekwarra people of northern Cross River State have a saying which, ordinarily, should sound vulgar to a decent or cultivated ears. But because of constant usage, the wholesomeness behind the meaning it is intended to convey and the innocent manner in which it is stated, whenever it is said even in a gathering full of noble personages, no one feels squeamish about it or take offence that they are being assaulted with vulgarity.

The saying, which can be uttered by anyone regardless of age and gender, goes as follows: ‘’I have been so utterly fucked, with even the scrotal sacs going inside’’. This saying is meant to convey the idea that one has been so terribly messed up, abused and made to look so ridiculous that he or she has absolutely nothing he or she can do about it other than to accept the situation, wrong or abominable act with philosophical calmness.

The idea behind this graphic description and near vulgar expression is that the scrotal sacs which are designed by the creator to play the role of a complicit enabler, a trigger on the boneless wonder to stand at full attention to answer his father’s name in an act of great love, they are testifiers against some women’s malicious accusation that their boss cannot perform; they who are to say that they saw him enter to perform his sacred duty, they also have been wickedly recruited to participate in an act of sordid violation. The man that should stand guard and act as a witness is now a participant/perpetrator in desecration.

This saying of my people reminds me of the trending story of the alleged adulterous relationship between Adam Nuru and his former secretary, alleged husband cheater, heart-breaker and gold digger, Moyo Tunde Thomas, both of FCMB (Forceful Control and Marriage Break-up].

The saying also goes against another popular African saying that ‘’A thief does not steal a portion that is larger than what is left for the farm owner’’. But Adam Nuru is a very special kind of thief. He is a classic example of a thief who took more than the owner. Now, a normal thief is supposed to trespass a farm stealthily and hurriedly gather what he can that can satisfy his greed or genuine hunger and dash away as hastily as he entered, lest he risks being caught and punished. He must be very swift and at the same time so cautious in order not to be caught.

But this breathtakingly handsome billionaire banker is a stony hearted one. He is bold, courageous, shameless, callous and infernally wicked. He is surely an example of the kind of man the Bible refers to as ‘’the wickedness of the wicked’’. He took more of the body of someone’s else’s wife than the husband had opportunity to take. He did not take a small portion of Moyo’s body. He took forceful control of her person. To put it in a lawyerly language, he owned, possessed and bought a man’s wife who was working under him with his fabulous wealth, power and the privilege of his position and dared the world to go to blazes because we are told that their affair was common knowledge among the staffers of FCMB.

He comfortably and forcefully took another man’s wife and for eight years fathered his two children and passed off the responsibility of raising the children to the cuckold. The cuckold invested his time, love and essence and everything within his power on the two children in the belief that they were his. He became a false father and husband. This Nuhu and the shameless, callous Moyo bided their time and planned a heart-breaking move that finally sank the man.

From what has now emerged, it is apparent that this man was doing the woman more than his legitimately married husband could do. If in eight years two children were fathered, it means that these two corroder of moral values chose the time, the cozy venues and their frequency of meeting in audacious sexual trysts. The woman will tell him the time of her fertile period and gbam, it will click. In a word, Nuru was having the best of Moyo. He was carefully sieving the grain of Moyo and leaving the chaff for Tunde to manage with. Of course as his secretary, he was seeing more of Moyo literally and figuratively than Tunde. The late Tunde Thomas was more or less a passive onlooker in a marriage he was supposed to be a principal contractor.

The most annoying thing in this whole sordid saga is that some so-called liberals and human rights activists have the nerve to say that the matter should be one that is left for God, Nuru and Moyo. That, it should not be anyone’s business when two consenting adults agree on adulterous sexcapades. Why should it not be our business when two foolish and heartless consenting adults embark on a deliberate plot that has led to the death of an innocent soul?

Another misguided pundit has weighed in with the idea that we have not heard from the other side (Nuru and Moyo’s side]. What do they have to say in their defense and why must we listen to them rather than charge them to court for murder and accessory to the act of murder? He went ahead to say how can we conclude that the children were not fathered by the late Tunde when DNA has not been performed to prove or disprove claims? Why must we waste time with DNA when even the blind can see the picture of the unfortunate children who are split images of Nuru? Away with legal shenanigans intended to obfuscate rather than shed light on an awful incident that we should better forget in a hurry because of its sheer sordidness.

There is a popular journalistic saying that one picture is worth more than a thousand words. A divorce lawyer once observed that his client, the man, had more than a thousand words to prove his innocence but his wife had one picture- that of him with his secretary- in a compromising position. And that settled the matter.

This society must raise its voice in righteous anger against Nuru and Moyo and all those men and women who are similarly disposed to acting adulterously. We should not seek to rationalize it away by saying that after all, we are all sinners. We should condemn sins that we are ourselves guilty of as doing so will help to restrain us from continuing in such sins.
This is a violation taken too far.It led to an avoidable death, mark you. Let no one say there can be no conclusive proof that there is a link between what happened between Nuru and Moyo and the eventual death of Tunde. To say so is to portray yourself as an insensitive, insincere and extremely callous person. Anyone who takes that position is indirectly saying that he is similarly disposed to acting like Nuru if he has the chance. And any woman who harbours such thought is telling us that she will not mind to be ‘’Adam Nurued’’ if she can come across such a handsome, powerful and subversively generous man.

To ask FCMB to sack Adam Nuru is a mild call. We should collectively rise and demand and insist that the man be put on trial for murder and the woman, for accessory to the crime of murder. Even King David did not behave so unrepentantly towards God and Uriah the Hittite whose wife he lusted after and later married. When the matter came into the open with Prophet Nathan’s stinging rebuke of David, he was genuinely heart-broken and penned the famous Psalm 51. Adam Nuru on the other hand has remained stubbornly unrepentant.

When he and Moyo discovered with the birth of the first child the enormousness of the sin/crime they have committed, they did not stop there. They compounded their affront with a second child and carried on with the relationship until it now burst open. And instead of penning a Psalm 51, Nuru and his cohorts think the best thing to do in the circumstance is to hire e-rats to insult the sensibilities of decent members of the society with annoying talk about two consenting adults, DNA and all those nonsense.

Since we no longer stone adulterers/ adulteresses to death, the best thing to do now is to put them on trial for culpable homicide even if the courts will not grant us victory. The humiliation of such a trial alone will still the anger of God against the two conniving, callous and eternally condemned ‘’consenting adults’’ and murderers/ adulterers.

In the 80s and 90s our bankers were striving to emerge as ‘’Banker of the Year’’. As a reflection of how far we have fallen from glory, our bankers are now seeking after emerging as ‘’Banger of the Year’’. Adam Nuru of FCMB (Fertility City Merchant Bank, alias Your Wife and I] has emerged as the year 2020 ‘’Banger of the Year’’ with retrospective effect from seven years ago. Let us boo him.